Why Do I Hate People? How to Stop Hating and Find Peace Again

If you ever wonder, “why do I hate people?” chances are good that there is something internal driving it. Here’s how to find peace in your heart.

The older I get, the more I find that I really just hate people. Now, I know that is going to sound awful. I mean who am I to say I hate people? The thing is, as much as I want to find people predictable and to trust them, in most instances, they always let me down.

The reason that people are so hate-able is simple; no one is perfect. If you run around asking “why do I hate people?” it is time to change your mindset, or you are going to live a very lonely life.

By definition, human beings are fallible. We were made individually and not perfect. What seems totally acceptable to one person is totally not to another. Even worse, someone can be nice and charming one minute, and then crude and mean the next. It is in the unpredictability of the human condition where people like me get caught up.

7 strategies to put down the hate and find peace

There is not a soul on earth who is ever going to be exactly what you want them to be. Your spouse is not going to be able to support you exactly as you want all the time. Your friend is not always going to say the right thing when you need them to, and, there is almost certainly going to be a time when you find someone has betrayed you, talked about you, or told a secret that you didn’t want them to. [Read: How to stop selfish people from hurting you]

The key to making it through this life without wondering “why do I hate people?” is to follow these rules on how to deal with the world. You don’t have to hate people, but you do have to accept them for who they are, be guarded with what you say, and never invest in someone who isn’t worth it. Here are some tips for accepting and loving people more.

#1 Stop expecting too much. If you sat back and took a good look at yourself, what you would find is that you aren’t always perfect. If you expect perfection from others, you are always going to be disappointed.

Always setting a high bar for how a friend, mate, or just general acquaintance should behave is always going to lead to disappointment. Stop putting high expectations on people, and then you won’t have to be depressed when they let you down or don’t live up to the esteem you placed on them. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

#2 Be guarded. One of the reasons that I hate people is that they judge each other. Don’t get me wrong, I judge. In fact, there is not a person among us who doesn’t judge.

Judging is a tool that we have for evolutionary reasons. We were taught to assess behaviors and situations so that we can survive and protect ourselves.

The problem is that if you always give people too much information about who you are, what you think, or the problems you are having in your life, they are going to judge you.

Truth is, if you put your dirty laundry out there and discuss your problems, then you are giving others the license to judge. It is okay to have a friend you can trust and tell them your life story. But, being too self-disclosed upfront will always leave you open to being the source of discussion. [Read: 5 big life lessons to deal with judgmental people]

#3 Stay away from the pack. When people get into “groups” of friends, things always get ugly. Groups quickly become packs and develop an “us” and “them” mentality. It also establishes a situation where people have to take their role among the group.

That is why there will always be the queen bee who guides the followers, the person who is assigned to be dumped on, and then the rest who are just there for entertainment purposes. If you find that you hate people, then the best way to avoid being hurt is to have a couple of friends from different groups and avoid ever becoming a tight-knit part of a social circle. [Read: 17 bad friends you should unfriend from your life]

#4 Stop caring what people think of you. Often, the reasons that you hate people is that we simply can’t seem to figure them out or make them happy. If you are overly sensitive, it makes it very hard to like people. When you are a highly sensitive individual, you may be reading social cues negatively when they aren’t meant to be that way.

Worrying too much about what people think can lead to a life of anxiousness, distrust, and a willingness to please that won’t ever be satiated. If you find yourself hating people, it just might be because you care way too much about what they think or how they feel.

If you start to put more energy into your own happiness and stop being distracted by others’ opinions and voices around you, then hating them will be irrelevant. If you care only about how happy you are with your own life, then no one can touch you, and you won’t even have the energy to waste hating anyone. [Read: Sabotaging your happiness – 12 ways you could ruin your own life]

#5 Let it roll. Sometimes we put too much credence into what people do or say. Thinking way too much in your own head, someone’s quick comment, rejection of your invitation, or simply feeling left out, can make you hate people. Holding grudges or constantly overthinking and over-analyzing situations can make you feel resentment that is only a waste of your time.

After all, as you have probably learned, being mad at someone typically only leads to your own misery. If you feel wronged by someone, the best way to handle it is just to let it go. [Read: How to stop overthinking – 11 strategies for more peace]

If you find that someone continually disappoints you, makes you feel bad, or lets you down, then not only let it roll… cut them loose. You don’t have to be friends with everyone.

If someone hurts your feelings, make a choice. Either let it go and assume they didn’t mean it, or break up with them. If they don’t care as much about you as you do for them, it may be time to move along. [Read: Life’s a bitch? 17 feel-good ways to make yourself feel better]

#6 Have one true friend. I tell my children all the time that you only need one. All you need is one person in your life who you can depend on to be honest, at your side, and have your back. We come into this world alone, and that is the way we leave.

Along the way, if you can find just one true and honest friend, then you have done a pretty good job. Stop thinking that you have to have a thousand friends, Facebook or otherwise, and focus on the one person who you can rely on outside of you. Put priority into those people who deserve it and screw the ones who don’t. Then you will find that people aren’t as bad as you think. [Read: 14 ways to instantly recognize fake people and stay away]

#7 Realize there are peaks and valleys and forgiveness. There was probably a time when you didn’t hate people. If something happened in your life and you feel like it ruined your trust in people, remember there was a time when you liked people. Going through tragedy and hard times can show you the ugly that people are capable of.

But, we can all be ugly at times. If you want to stop hating people and feeling like people are basically not good, try to forgive the things that people might have said or done to you in the past. Holding on to all that angst isn’t doing anyone any favors, especially you. Separate the situation from the emotions and what you will likely find is that hard times bring out the worst in everyone. But, it doesn’t define their true spirit. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to watch out for]

If you are asking yourself, “why do I hate people?” there are many reasons. Not all of us are equally kind, sensitive, or loyal. If you expect too much from the people around you, you are almost guaranteed to be disappointed and feel like you hate everyone.

Not everyone is perfect, nor do we always act the way that we should. The best way to get through life is to find the people in your life who care as much about you as you do them… and stop putting your energy into people who aren’t worth it. [Read: The rules of life – 22 secrets to never be unhappy again]

Try not to worry too much about what people think or assume that you know what they think or feel inside. Sometimes our own angst can make us misread how people feel and put a negative twist on purely neutral situations. In the end, if you are good with you, focus on your own happiness, and stop caring about others more than yourself, you will stop feeling like you hate everyone.

[Read: Toxic people – 25 early warning signs to watch out for]

Hate is a very strong and powerful emotion, and if you can forgive, forget, and move on, you can stop wondering “why do I hate people?” Where there is forgiveness and acceptance, there is no room for hate.

The post Why Do I Hate People? How to Stop Hating and Find Peace Again is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.