“You are the Love of my Life” – Say It Without a Freak Out

If you’re getting ready to drop, “You are the love of my life,” but are afraid you might scare them off, this is how you should do it.

Not everybody deals well with hearing that they’re the love of someone else’s life. Commitment issues fill their mind with the words, you are the love of my life. It scares them to the point that they drop everything and just bail without a second thought.

Even if you’re 100% sure the other person feels the same, it can be really scary for you to get out. The fear of rejection often makes people hold back from saying those words. Then they don’t feel like they can be themselves around their significant other catapulting their relationship downhill.

Why people are afraid of hearing “you are the love of my life.”

The biggest reason so many people get freaked out by hearing that their significant other loves them is because they have commitment issues. More people have commitment issues than you may realize even if they’re comfortable being in a defined relationship.

Other reasons people are scared is because it reminds them of past relationships where they fell in love, and it was not reciprocated. They may fear what the future holds by hearing this phrase, and it causes them to act all nuts. [Read: 10 reasons why saying “I love you” too soon just sucks]

How to tell someone “you are the love of my life” without freaking them out

Not everyone is going to be freaked out by hearing this phrase. But it’s still best to know how to begin the conversation in such a way that helps them remain calm. There is a skill to announcing your true feelings that you have to master if you don’t want to scare them away.

If you want to tell someone how much you care about, but you don’t want to risk them running away scared, these tips help you do just that. Keep in mind everyone is different and responds in different ways, but these are tried and true techniques to help them stay calm. [Read: When should you say ‘I love you’ for the first time]

#1 Determine how long it’s been. There is a real difference between being in love with someone and just being infatuated with them. True, real love takes time. Get to know the person in depth to see if they can truly touch you on that deep of a level.

If it’s been a really short amount of time, and you start saying things like, “You are the love of my life,” they will run away faster than you can finish that sentence. Announcing this too soon is a huge reason many people get freaked out. [Read: Infatuation vs. love: 14 ways you can tell the difference]

#2 Figure out how they’re feeling. Try to decipher how they’re feeling about you. Do they exhibit signs that show they’re in love with you or do they just treat you like someone they just started dating? Figuring out how they feel helps you decide how to tell them, and if you should say anything yet at all.

#3 Decide how they accept forms of love. People feel love in so many different ways. They can feel loved by getting gifts, receiving compliments, being cuddled and cared for, and just being told as much. Figure out when they’re the happiest and adjust how you would tell them, “You are the love of my life.” [Read: Different ways to say I love you without saying a word]

#4 Hold onto this thought for a few weeks. Once you’ve discovered you feel like you’re in love with them, don’t say anything right away. Give it a few weeks to fester in your mind, so you can really be certain that you actually do. Telling someone they’re the love of your life without knowing for SURE that they truly are causes major problems, especially freaking them out.

#5 Decide when you’re going tell them. Now that you’ve decided for certain that you’re going to tell them, pick a time when. Plan a fun or romantic night and let that be your time to tell them. Choosing a specific time helps you prepare. A well-prepared announcement of these feelings helps you feel secure and if you’re confident, they’ll feel secure, too. [Read: Love vs. In love – 5 big differences most people have no idea about]

#6 Don’t surprise them with it. While this may seem really romantic and it’s been successfully done on hundreds of romantic comedies, this isn’t a movie. Surprising them may just cause them to go into shock.

If you’ve never gave the vibe that you feel this way and you spring this on them, they’re going to think it’s completely random and will start to freak out from the pure shock value of something that big.

#7 Leave little hints beforehand. For the above reason, leave little hints here and there that indicate you are starting to feel really into them. Make them breakfast occasionally, buy them tickets to their favorite show, and do little things that show them you’re feeling especially loving toward them. [Read: The 25 sweetest romantic gestures for everyday life]

#8 Watch their response to those hints. When you do those sweet and loving things for them, watch the way they take it. Do they lean over and give you a kiss and are really appreciative or do they just mutter a quick, “thanks,” and move on. If they do the first of those two, then chances are they’re feeling the same way as you.

#9 Choose your words carefully. Blurting out, “You are the love of my life,” causes a lot of freak out to happen because it’s such a profound statement of certainty. This certainty scares people who have a few commitment problems.

Choose your words carefully. Saying something along the lines of, “You make me happier than I’ve ever been,” and following it up with, “I can see myself falling in love with you,” gets the same point across with much less impact. [Read: 25 signs he really loves you even if he doesn’t say it out loud]

#10 Don’t take your words back. Once you say you feel this way for them, NEVER apologize and take your words back if they have a minor freak out moment. Instead, simply tell them that you understand how they’re feeling, but you can’t help the way you feel about them.

This let’s them know you really do feel that way for them and their behavior won’t change your mind. It also helps calm their freak out by instilling a sense of security in knowing you stand by your words.

#11 Make sure they know you don’t need them to reciprocate right away. If they start showing signs of nervousness after you tell them, let them know that it’s okay if they don’t feel the same way, but you just wanted them to know that’s where your feelings lie.

This takes all the pressure off of them and that pressure sometimes causes a freak out. [Read: 10 heartfelt signs it’s the right time to say “I love you”]

#12 Don’t say it over and over and over again. They got the message the first time. There is no need to keep repeating, “I love you,” over and over. This makes them think you’re either over-exaggerating or you’re just taking things to a level that they’re not at yet. Keep it simple and wait until they start showing the same feelings.

#13 If all else fails, just SHOW them how much you care about them. If you know your significant other just will not take the news well, and you’re too nervous of steering them away to tell them, just show them.

Do little things every single day showing them just how much they mean to you until they have shown signs of being comfortable enough around you that you can say it. Or better yet, wait until they announce their feelings first if they’re the type to freak out.

[Read: The first “I love you” – How to say it and get it right]

Telling someone, “You are the love of my life,” isn’t easy for either party. In order to avoid having your partner freak out and run in the opposite direction, follow these tips when making the big announcement.

The post “You are the Love of my Life” – Say It Without a Freak Out is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.