Do You Know Someone Who is Guilty of Cissexism – Even You?

Many people have never even heard of cissexism. Our society knows a lot about other “isms” like racism or sexism, but are you guilty of cissexism?

Maybe you’re just reading this feature because you’re curious to see what cissexism even means. Or maybe you already know, but want to know more about it. Either way, cissexism is quickly becoming the newest discrimination in our society today.

What is cissexism?

The root meaning of almost any word ending in “ism” is discrimination. Racism is the assumption that your race is superior to other races. Sexism implies that men are better than women. But what does cissexism mean?

Cissexism is a prejudiced belief that transgender people are inferior to non-transgender people *cisgender*. While is sounds like this is a conscious thing on the part of people with the belief, just like any prejudiced thought, it can go unnoticed… even by the belief-holder.

I mean, come on. If you went around asking people, “Do you think African Americans are inferior to white people?” or “Do you think men are superior to women?” many people would answer with a resounding “No!” Why? Because no one wants to admit that they are prejudice.

The truth, however, is that there are many people who are prejudice and are guilty of many “isms”… even cissexism. It’s easy to spot when someone is an active bigot. But when people keep their beliefs in the closet, it’s more difficult to find out who is guilty of cissexism. [Read: 10 inconvenient truths about intercultural relationships]

The rise of cissexism

Several decades ago, no one had really even heard the word “transgender.” So, if someone was a transgendered individual, they felt like a freak… and alone. Imagine the internal pain that goes along with that!

Kaitlyn Jenner *formerly known as Bruce Jenner* is one of the first well-known people to have really brought transgender issues into the public discourse. No one had really talked about it before, let alone known anyone who has been transgender.

You might thing that Kaitlyn Jenner’s journey would make people empathetic to other people’s transgender experiences, but that’s not always true… unfortunately. In fact, it made closed-minded people come out and commit cissexism.

These people likely don’t know anyone who is transgender. I have personally known several, and they are awesome people. But there is one obvious underlying commonality… their journeys have been painful. [Read: Pansexual confessions – What’s it like to be one?]

Beliefs and examples of cissexism

Discrimination happens every day, unfortunately. But the scary part of discrimination is that not all of it is obvious. Not knowing that you’re being discriminated against doesn’t allow you to fight against it.

So, you might not have known about cissexist discrimination or prejudice, but trust me, it’s happening. Here are some beliefs and examples of cissexism.

#1 XX and XY are absolutes. People think that biology is where everything begins and ends. For example, it is the common assumption that we can’t influence our genes with our thoughts, or that or brain never changes. That is absolutely false.

So why would we assume that just because you have an XX or XY chromosome combination that you would automatically act and feel like a male or female? Because people are uninformed, that’s why.

#2 Sex and gender are the same thing. I teach gender communication, so it bugs me when people insist on saying that sex and gender are the same. They are not! Sex refers to the biological characteristics and genitals you were born with.

Gender is much more complex. It exists on a continuum, from stereotypically male to stereotypically female. Most of us are somewhere in between. But gender is more about your psychological makeup and range of behaviors, not your genitals or chromosomes. [Read: The best of both worlds? How to date a bisexual woman]

Thus, you can see why people who think that sex and gender are the same thing think that transgender people should think and act like the sex they were born with.

#3 You should use the public bathroom according to your natural-born genitals. I know you’ve heard stories about this in the media. People think that if a transgender female *born male, living as a female* should use the men’s restrooms in public… even if he’s dressed like a woman.

Why? Because many people think transgender people are psychologically ill. Not only is that faulty assumption, they generalize and exaggerate even further to say that they must be psychopaths and child molesters.

I hate to break it to you, but most psychopaths, serial killers, and child molesters are straight white men. Kind of makes you go hmmm… doesn’t it? [Read: 15 big lesbian myths you probably still believe]

#4 Transgender people should just suck it up and be the sex they were born with. What if you had extreme artistic talent and wanted nothing more than to be an artist for the rest of your life. But your parents refused to support you, and so they told you to just suck it up and go to college and medical school to be a doctor.

But you hate math and science! And you’re not even good at it! You’d be miserable being a doctor, if you could even make it through medical school to begin with. Yup, that’s how it feels like for transgender people when others have the attitude of “suck it up.”

#5 There should only be a “male” and “female” check box on surveys. When you take a survey, you always see this on the top: “Gender: ___ male ___ female.” Note the use of the word “gender” not  “sex.” But regardless, what if you were neither… or both? Born one sex, but feel like and living as the other sex. Which box do you check? [Read: 9 sure ways to find out if you’re really bicurious]

People who are of mixed race have this same problem. If you have an African American mother and a white father, which one are you? Well, you’re both. But rarely do you see a section that says “mixed.” Same goes for the sex category. You never see a “transgender” option.

#6 There should only be heterosexual marriage *and maybe even gay marriage*. Many people don’t understand this, but not everyone falls neatly into the “heterosexual” or “homosexual category.” There are transgender people who were born male, feel like they are a woman, but are sexually attracted to women.

And that confuses many people. They’re like, “Huh? So you feel like a lesbian? That doesn’t make any sense!” The point is, which category of marriage would people like this fall into? It’s not as cut and dry as many people like to make it out to be.

[Read: How do lesbians have sex? 10 truths about girl on girl sex]

Discrimination is all around us, and it won’t go away anytime soon. But we need to be aware of it, and now that you know more about cissexism, hopefully you’ll try to stop any discrimination you see.

The post Do You Know Someone Who is Guilty of Cissexism – Even You? is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.